Happy Tuesday

I fear that I have lost my mind. Yesterday, during a spot of shopping with the other half, I fell in love with the most beautiful pair of trainers. I promised those beautiful little Nike duo that I would be back to release them from the noisy hell of Westfield and would shower them with love and affection until the next new love comes along. I needed to justify why I - a woman who spends her life in pumps - would possibly want or need a pair of trainers. So in a haze of pure delirium, I signed up for the Race for Life in my local park in June.

At the time, it didn't cross my mind that I never run for anything except last call in the pub. I happily signed up, set up my fundraising page (http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/amywhitear) and started dreaming of raising money, doing something for a Very Good Cause (TM) and owning that beautiful pair of trainers. And still buzzing from the adrenaline of actually doing something good, I managed to allow my aunt to talk me into doing a second Race for Life - this time in July - with her and a few cousins.

So here I am. Still no trainers, but £30 down. A total of 10K to run this summer, and I still haven't figured out how to walk up a flight of stairs without having to pause for breath and a drink (vodka, preferably). I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to manage this. Death may be next on the list.

Night of the Living Beliebers

Think back, if you will, to late 2009. Ireland were still reeling after Thierry Henry's handball, Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito were found guilty of Meredith Kercher's murder, Patrick Stewart became Sir Patrick Stewart, and the worst thing Canada had ever done was force Trey Parker and Matt Stone to write 'Blame Canada'. No one could be prepared for the almighty shitstorm that was about to reign upon us.

January 2010 saw the UK launch of the incredibly high-pitched, and highly-styled haircut of a certain Mr Justin Drew Bieber. The insanely annoying 'One Time' catapulted him into the hearts of millions of prepubescent girls, and into the 'I don't care' files of millions of adults. But we should have cared. Oh, boy, we should have paid more attention.

Now, the Bieber is harmless enough. His songs are, quite frankly, abysmal at times, and the oft-copied ludicrous hairstyle is but a memory now. He's just a young kid living his dream (TM) and making an absolute fortune in the process. Good on him. Who wouldn't want to be so rich it masks the pain of growing up in Canada? The problem I have isn't with the singing Canadian haircut. It's with the legion of rabid fans who have become so obsessive that I genuinely fear for their health.

The self-styled Beliebers seem harmless enough from the outside: just a small army of almost teenage girls who idolise the little Bieber (I say little as I have literally no idea how tall he is. And, also, he's younger than me, making his height a null point). Every young girl or boy goes through a stage of having their celebrity crush, or hero, but never before have I seen it taken to such drastic lengths.

Beliebers sit at their computers (which they're too young to operate correctly) playing Justin's videos on repeat on YouTube (which are amongst the most viewed videos of the site's history) and spouting actual hatred towards anyone who dares to criticise him. I'm not talking silly little "you're an idiot" type playground arguments. These little creatures launch mass attacks of the vilest kind.

There was a highly publicised incident in late 2010 in which a disgustingly high number of Beliebers took to Twitter to send absolutely disgusting and horrifying messages to Lily Allen. The singer - a prolific user of Twitter - had suffered a second heartbreaking miscarriage and the response from a high number of Beliebers on the site is enough to make anyone's skin crawl. The exact message which had been retweeted a shockingly high number of times has been deleted, but thanks to the magic of the internet, it lives on...

You may wonder what Lily Allen's crime was? She once sent a tweet stating that she wasn't a fan of the Canadian haircut. Many tried to write off the Beliebers' comments as naive and foolish, but I do not. If they are old enough to use the internet unsupervised, they are old enough to know that a miscarriage is incredibly traumatic and painful, and absolutely not a laughing matter. I can only hope they never have to go through such an ordeal.

The Belieber fuelled hatred doesn't just happen on a public level, either. I myself have received countless messages of hate from these little girls. I expressed my disdain of Bieber allegedly releasing a cover of Prince's 'Purple Rain' to be told "go die bitch", or "you shoulda been aborted". Some of the more straightforward tweets simply said "fuck you". 

Do I believe the Beliebers to be dangerous? Absolutely. Not necessarily to others, but almost certainly to themselves. They are known to send death threats (and I will undoubtedly receive a few myself if they ever catch wind of this). I get that teenage girls are often lost in the haze of puberty, but these young girls are taking it to a whole different level. They are extremely obsessive, extremely possessive, and extremely deluded. A recent trending topic on Twitter was "Justin makes me wet". God only knows if these 12 year olds even know what that means or implies.

A whole new world (you totally just sang that, didn't you? You're singing it again now!) has opened up with the Beliebers. We now have obsessive fan groups for just about every singer or celebrity out there, each group determined to be more prolific and loving for their idol. Here in the UK, we have Directioners, the ever-growing base of Wand Erection, sorry, One Direction fans who are looking to rapidly overtake the Beliebers in the contest for Most Annoying Twitter Users. I've also received death threats from Directioners.. funny little things, these teenage girls. I hear they are currently spreading across the world and, for that, I can only apologise.

Eventually, everything will die down. Beiber will either get married or go the Macaulay Culkin route and lose his beloved fans and hair. One Direction will split up after the obligatory mid-tour bust up. The little girls will grow up and become mothers and will, hopefully, shudder if they see their own offspring acting in a similar way. But at this moment in time, the Beliebers are a clear and present danger, a plague on Twitter, and should be forced to carry a warning tick on their profiles, rather than a validation tick. 

Friday

It's Friday, and I have nothing to do! Those five words are sweet, sweet music to my ears. After working seven days straight, and over 48 hours on those seven days, the next three days are a godsend. I get to sit at home doing whatever I choose.. If I want to bake, I can. If I want to sleep in, I can (although I'm not exactly exercising that right at the moment by being wide awake and blogging at 7am) and if I want to forget all about horse and dog racing, I can.

But there's a flaw to my enchanted weekend off. And it comes in the form of an annoyingly addictive game. Angry Birds has plagued me ever since I discovered it was available on Facebook. I have fought the siren call of that catchy/annoying theme song for so, so long. And now I find myself desperate to splatter those little green pigs into obliteration.

On top of that, I'm struggling to find an easy way to register for an OU course. Expensive and not exactly easy to get through to them on the phone. I've tried and tried to register for my chosen course, but the registration materials didn't turn up until yesterday. So now, I have to wait until October to finally start doing what I want to do. Every silver lining...

That's My Cupcake!

For all who know me, it's no secret that I love to bake. So much so, that I've long envisioned one day opening my own little cupcake emporium. It's incredibly frustrating, and difficult, to find simple, exciting new recipes but I managed to find a delightful little magazine called, quite simply, Cake Decorating. I frantically searched high and low for the mag in literally every shop I walked into for a few days before the temptation got to me and I ended up subscribing.

Issue One came with a gorgeous gingham cardboard cupcake stand, two differently-sized butterfly cutters, and pink glitter. A godsend, if I'm honest, considering I've paid upwards of £3 for decorating glitter before! The easy-to-follow instructions in the mag have excited me beyond all reason, leading me to believe that I absolutely will ensure I turn my family into a family of cake and biscuit addicts!

I wasn't able to restrain myself from snapping up the second issue when I saw it in my local shop! This girl loves her baking too much to simply wait a few days...

Issue Two came complete with three reusable icing bags and nozzles. I've read mixed reviews about the bags online, but I'm sure anything is better than the disastrous bags I used for my Mother's Day cupcakes which literally exploded and ensured there was more chocolate icing on me than there were on the cakes!

I rarely rave about anything - especially magazines! - but it's rare that I feel so excited about a product. I've long waited for something that shares my enthusiasm about baking, decorating, and sharing and it's finally arrived in the form of Cake Decorating. I'm that one step closer to cupcake delirium.

An ode to (500) Days of Summer...

I'm about to sound incredibly hipster-like, but I've always loved The Smiths, long before (500) Days of Summer entered the realm. That's primarily because my mum had epic taste in music and passed that on to me, and partly because I went through the stereotypical miserable-teenager stage which had me listening to The Smiths, Joy Division and The Cure almost continuously. Morrissey and Johnny Marr shall forever be gods in my mind.

I was 18 when a little non-linear film entered my life. I was just beginning to leave my miserable teenager shell and grow into an adult (some may argue I'm still stuck there almost three years later, but we'll leave that for another day). Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel brought the characters of Tom and Summer to life and, for once, my kooky little indie-self suddenly became the 'cool' thing. Most indie kids would fall apart at something like that happening, but I completely celebrate it.

Anything that enables people to discover new music or experiences I'm all for. Any film that features a dance sequence to a Hall & Oates song deserves to be immensely popular and celebrated. And as I sit here alone on a Saturday night watching this film, I'm suddenly revelling in my kooky, indie, Smiths loving self. Especially now that people understand it's not a phase. It's simply who I am.

Well hello there...

It's been a while since I updated this lovely little blog. Bad Amy! I admit, I've been too busy for it. How incredibly terrible of me!

A lot has happened since our last meeting. I've gone and got myself a real job! Yes it's still an evil job, and one that consumes my evenings and weekends, but it's a real job with real people and - perhaps most importantly - real money. The funemployment is over, and I admit I have shed an imaginary tear at that thought, but now I can begin moving on to bigger and better things.

On top of that, my months and months of trying has finally led to the creation of Chasing Alice! Not many people are particularly interested in my little side project, but I'm trying my hardest to get people to notice. I'm all for more contributors, or feedback. Alice isn't just for me to chase, there's magic for everyone out there!

I feel old

My baby sister turns 18 today. I'm only two and a half years older than her, but I can remember my mum being pregnant with her. Therefore, Ruby turning 18 leaves me (at 20) feeling old. I'm doing all the grown up stuff now: I have a real job with real risk (!), I have a proper boyfriend, I pay bills (not many, but the point stands) and I'm crawling towards 30. And, for once, I'm not depressed at the impending doom of my old age. I'm excited by it. Yes, it sucks that I will one day have to bow down to the inevitable wrinkles and pension but, for now, life is pretty good. At least I'm getting older and getting money. Makes a change from getting older and not getting money.