Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Tinselitis #7: My Very Own Xmas Chart

Double whammy of Tinsilitis this week due to me being completely lame and not posting anything last week. Sorry about that. Don't blame me, blame the flu!

I've decided to make Edition Seven extra special by giving you my complete Christmas song countdown. My favourite 10 songs for you to enjoy as we ring in December. So join in, listen loudly, and let me know if there's anything you disagree with.

10 - Boney M, Mary's Boy Child

Alright, they never actually sang anything. But Boney M's German-techno take on the classic Mary's Boy Child is a lasting Christmas tradition. Yes, it's cheesy and ever-so-slightly-awful, but you know you love it.

9 - Dean Martin, Winter Wonderland

Are you listening?!... Although there have been many, many, MANY versions of this song, some of which are awful (yes, you, Jessica Simpson), but Dean Martin's version is a lasting treasure.

8 - Eartha Kitt, Santa Baby

Although Eartha Kitt will always be, as a 90s kid, Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove, she was very well known and loved for this Christmas classic from 1953.

7 - Wham, Last Christmas

Back in the 80s, Yuppies were a new invention, Donny Wahlberg didn't/couldn't act, and the world pretended to think that George Michael was straight. If Wham! did anything good (other than that amazing exclamation mark) it was this. Complete with bells, a broken festive heart, and some truly dodgy hairstyles on offer in the video, this is a Christmas classic that is always murdered on the karaoke.

6 - Dean Martin, Let It Snow!

Another Dean Martin entry. I adore this song. Especially my sister's slightly idiotic version. For me, this is the one that makes me crave snow despite despising the grey slushy stuff (it's never white in London).

5 - Judy Garland, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

I love Judy Garland. I love Meet Me In St Louis. I love Christmas. There is no better combination than this. Enjoy and thank me later.

4 - Wizzard, I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday

Even listening to it now, I get the giddy Christmas feeling I used to get as a kid. I feel the same way I did then - I really do wish it could be Christmas every day. Every. Single. Day. Without exception.

3 - Band Aid, Do They Know It's Christmas?

I get goosebumps whenever this song starts playing. An incredible song featuring some of the 80s' most important stars (hello Boy George! Simon LeBon!) it inspired the world to think that you could, indeed, save the world with music. And I don't care what anyone says, my stomach drops a bit whenever Bono sings that line. The less said about subsequent versions, the better.

2 - Mariah Carey, All I Want For Christmas Is You

I can't sing. At all. Does that stop me from screaming this out every December? No, it doesn't. This is probably the first Christmas song I can remember (I was only three when it came out!) and, as a result, it has featured pretty heavily in my life. I can't help but smile when I hear it. Or sing. No matter where I am.

1 - The Pogues & Kirsty McColl, Fairytale Of New York

I don't know if it's because I'm Irish and therefore know the words to the quoted Galway Bay, or if it's just the pure sadness and unChristmassy feel of it that makes me love this song so much. Whatever the reason, I love it. Even the sweary bits. Especially the sweary bits, actually. This song is too good to be kept just for Christmas but I resist the urge to play it throughout the year, just so that I can enjoy that bit more each December. And what a voice Kirsty McColl was. A delight.

I should probably mention that I originally had a list of 25 but had to cut it down due to not wanting to kill anyone with boredom. There are tons of Christmas songs still stuck on my iTunes playlist, begging to be published. Maybe I'll save them for next year..

Tinselitis #6: S.P.E.W.

I'm taking a leaf out of J.K. Rowling/Hermione Granger's book. I'm taking the Society for the Protection of Elvish Welfare incredibly seriously right now. So seriously, I'm thinking of turning it into a legitimate charity.

As Christmas is getting closer and I've acquired more presents, I've noticed a select few are becoming increasingly nosey. To the point that I've had to wrap presents crappily in dodgy paper two weeks ahead of schedule just so they can't figure out what I've bought for them.

But that's not keeping some of the savages away. So instead, I'm upping the ante. From now on, if I catch a single person in my bedroom (or any other present location) snooping around, I'm going to blow a whistle. Not just any old whistle. Oh no. This will be a deafening whistle.

Join in my crusade. Save the Elves. We can't afford to lose any more this year!

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Tinselitis #5: Tonsillitis

It's happened. Every year in the run up to Christmas, I get some sort of sickness. For the past three years, it's been a nasty combination of a cold and tonsillitis. And it's struck again this year, rearing it's ugly head on Thursday night before unleashing it's full evilness yesterday. But it's not getting in my way.. Shopping is well under way!

I've got four whole people completely bought for. COMPLETELY. That doesn't mean I won't be buying more for them, but for now I've convinced myself that half my battle is done. I'm wrong, of course, but that doesn't stop my little smug feeling of satisfaction.

Along with the pre-Christmas diseases and shopping is my complete and utter triumph... I've spread the Christmas spirit! The Boyfriend, The Sister, The Friends, and now a few others are completely infected. Not with tonsillitis, but with Christmas Spirit (TM). My campaign for the Elves is working...

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Tinselitis #4: It's the most wonderful time..

It's creeping closer my friends! In a desperate bid to be able to afford the mammoth pile of presents I've picked out for my inner circle, I've managed to get myself a Christmas job. But not just any Christmas job. Oh no. This is an M&S Christmas job (laugh! You know you want to.) ..In the Christmas department. Which means that I'm living out several epic childhood fantasies. As a complete Christmas nut, I used to listen to Christmas songs as early as July, and pick out presents/wrapping paper in August. Now, it's November, and I can listen to Christmas songs all day long. It drives everyone else mental but I adore it. Christmas is beautiful, and those songs are too good to only listen to for four weeks.

An unexpected result of this is working in retail and, you know, dealing with people. Luckily for me (and unluckily for everyone else) I don't have any horror stories to reveal about the Great British Shopping Public. I'm actually enjoying it. Mainly because I get to listen to Christmas songs all day long. I've even managed to redraft my shopping list, making allowances for any people I will inevitably forget to buy for. But it gets better... I'm managing to spread the Christmas Spirit! I've got everyone in my family already thinking about the Big Day. I've got people at work singing along to the songs. I've got screaming kids at work going batshit crazy over the Mr T talking keyrings. My work is almost done.

Although I'm mightily proud of myself for doing my bit to Save the Elves, I'm also incredibly annoyed with myself. I haven't been to see the Oxford Street Christmas lights yet. Nor the Westfield ones (although that might be because the Bieber was there yesterday and I don't fancy getting crushed into oblivion by screaming prepubescent teenage girls). It's far too early for me to put up my own decorations yet so I need to hurry up and go see the twinkling lights and embrace all the lovely people unknowingly Saving some Elves. (As a side note: Do you think we could expand Hermione Granger's S.P.E.W to include the Christmas Elves? I think we should try...)

Whatever you're doing this Christmas, I hope a part of you will be able to enjoy it as much as I will. It really is magical. And you'll be Saving the Elves! (Think of those poor Elves!)

To get you into the mood:

Thursday, 3 November 2011

There's a light in the darkness of everybody's life

So, Monday night was Halloween. I didn't fulfil my fantasy of stealing a baby for the day to dress it up as a Big Mac but I did celebrate the night by heading to the cinema for a special one-day-only screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't one of the epic singalong, dress up as Magenta type screenings, but it was still bloody amazing. Sitting there watching Rocky Horror in its full-screen glory reminded me of so many things: my love for the movie, the genius of Richard O'Brien, and just how much some of those lyrics shaped my childhood.

Over At The Frankenstein Place is, without a doubt, my favourite song from Rocky Horror. More specifically, the line (and title of this blog) "there's a light in the darkness of everybody's life" is my favourite lyric from Rocky Horror. Yes, Time Warp is fun, and Sweet Transvestite is the best character entrance in a film ever, but that one line has stuck in my head for years (which feels odd to say given that I'm only 20). I think it's possibly because of the positivity of it. Or it could be that it tapped into the emotions a person feels whenever they're lonely/depressed/at a bad point. Whatever it was, it stuck with me for a very long time. And hearing it in all it's Susan Sarandon/Barry Bostwick glory on Monday night has inspired me to do something I've been putting off for a long time. Bear with me, it'll turn up eventually. I'm definitely gonna do it this time.

Until then, keep your eyes peeled ;)