Sunday, 23 October 2011

Contagious Fear

I am a germaphobe. I carry hand disinfectant gel with me at all times. I shower twice a day. I wash my hands frequently. I refuse to touch people who are ill. For as long as I can remember, I have been absolutely terrified of germs, diseases, illness, the whole lot. It's not just a silly little fear.. It's a full on phobia. The mere thought of germs and bacteria makes my skin crawl and me shudder. So it's obviously more than a bit stupid that I went to see Contagion last night.

For an hour before, the entire duration of the film, and six hours after, I refused to touch anything other than my phone. I got home and disinfected my laptop (which is why it's safe for me to use right now) as well as my boyfriend's hands (God knows where those have been). The film absolutely paralysed me with fear, which is undoubtedly the hallmark of a great movie. Except, I doubt the producers/director/screenwriters/cast were expecting a complete germaphobe to walk on up to the cinema, sit down anxiously and nervously watch the entire film (mostly from behind my hands, I must add).

It has done two things to me: First of all, I'm now convinced that my phobia isn't holding me back in life, nor is it irrational. Instead, I'm absolutely convinced that it's good sense. From now on, I shall no longer be embarrassed when I insist that people wash their hands before touching me. I'm doing it for the Greater Good! Secondly, I'm now contemplating a career in science. Not the horrific dissecting-animals-in-a-lab-for-the-fun-of-it science, but the "Hey look! We found a cure!" science. You can be damn sure that if the world is to experience a breakout of strange bat/banana flu as seen in Contagion last night, I'm gonna be first in line for a vaccine (and this is coming from someone who also has a severe needle phobia).

Actually, scrap that. I'm gonna be the type who is actively using myself as a guinea pig to find a cure. I will voluntarily stick experimental medicine into my body if it's going to prove that germs are bad and my phobia/OCD/intelligence was right all along. I'm not dying because Gwyneth Paltrow is a whore. (I should add that this is, to the best of my knowledge, only in Contagion. I have no proof that she's a whore in real life.)

Also, as a side note, Jude Law has an absolutely awful Australian accent. I spent the best part of 45 minutes trying to figure out if he was a Brummie or an Aussie. Awful.

No comments:

Post a Comment