Opinion: Little Mix

It's time for me to shamefully admit to something. Every year, I pretend that I couldn't care less about The X Factor/Britain's Got Talent/I'm a Celebrity, but every year I become hooked on at least one of them. This year was the turn of The X Factor (and I'm a Celebrity. Can't recall a bit of this year's BGT). Last Sunday saw Little Mix crowned the show's eight winning act, and first winning group, and they look a dead cert to be number one tomorrow with their not-as-awful-as-expected cover of the beautiful 'Cannonball' by the stupidly underrated yet amazingly brilliant Damien Rice.

Plenty of people have been quick to cry fix this year. From Kelly Rowland's amazing sick voice, to Amelia Lily-gate, there have been plenty of headlines made this year by the ever revolving PR door at Syco HQ but the win by Little Mix has probably topped them all. Yes, a group (a girl group no less) has finally won, but does it really need to have been a fix? Watching all of Little Mix's performances back (I admit that I only got invested on Sunday nights, the main shows went on far too long) it's quite apparent to see why they won. They delivered consistently good performances each week, didn't sound completely dreadful in the vocals department, looked like regular, normal young girls, and won over the elusive teen girl crowd. Although not a fan of their take on EnVogue's 'Don't Let Go' (I realise I'm in the minority here), I was completely in awe of their performances of Nelly Furtado's 'I'm Like a Bird' (a song that has been done to death on reality shows) and especially Katy Perry's 'E.T.'

In my personal, humble, and unwanted opinion, it was their performance of 'E.T.' that won them the show. The vocals were spot on, the dance routine was of a high quality, and the general staging of the performance was, quite simply, breathtaking. Despite favouring Marcus Collins, I was desperate for Little Mix to win. As a group, they would be best suited to the Syco/major record company mould: they would consistently put out catchy songs, fill a niche in the market (there hasn't been a UK number 1 by a girl group since the truly amazing 'The Promise' by Girls Aloud in 2008) and capitalise on the success of the show. Marcus, on the other hand, needed to lose in order to be free from the Simon Cowell chains. He needed to lose in order to prevent himself from becoming the next Steve Brookstein, Leon Jackson, or Joe McElderry (I didn't even have to Google those names! That's true X Factor dedication right there!). I have no doubt that Marcus will follow in the footsteps of JLS and Olly Murs and become highly successful. I just think that Little Mix needed to win in order to succeed.

Having read various interviews featuring the four girls, I've warmed to them quite rapidly over the past two months. Like many, I was absolutely horrified at the sheer outpouring of vile hatred towards Jesy Nelson who, in my opinion, is a perfectly normal looking, healthy individual. The four girls - Jesy, Perrie Edwards, Leigh-Anne Pinnock, and Jade Thirlwall - have an edge about them that The Saturdays et al don't have. To borrow a cliche from Louis Walsh, they're likeable. They don't dress like whores. Each one of them can sing (yes, some better than others, but who cares?! They'll get better as time goes on). Each one of them can dance. They have - from what's been portrayed - excitable, bubbly, down-to-earth personalities. None of them seem the type to send an ex-boyfriend to rehab, or proudly declare that they are the best thing since sliced bread when only two-thirds of them can sing. I'm proudly rooting for Little Mix to do well. So much so, that I actually went out and bought their CD single.

Looking at the other prospective girl group that's been thrown in our faces at the moment - Mathew Knowles' From Above - it's not hard to see where my allegiances lie. From Above recently launched their debut video for their debut song 'Not The Same Girl' and I was ever so slightly horrified. I won't post the link (you can search it up if you're desperate) but I will say one thing: If the roles in that video were reversed and it was a group of men doing to a woman what those five girls are doing to that one man in the video then there would be an uproar. I've grown tired of the girl bands we've had lately: all dolled up, gyrating around in stilletoes and singing pointless drivel. I want a down-to-earth, consistent, talented group that I wouldn't be ashamed to hear my little cousin singing along to on the radio. Yes, Little Mix are a manufactured group, but they're the best hope we have right now. And I, for one, can't wait to see them succeed.

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want

And that isn't the John Lewis advert.

No. Stop it. Stop showing it. Stop lying about the way it made you feel all soppy and like the world's biggest prat. No. Just stop it.

I have NEVER seen a worse advert. And I lived through the 90s! I lived through Brit Pop, Girl Power, neon, and Barbie Girl, and have never managed to witness an advert worse than this godawful piece of mess that is the John Lewis ad. There is just so much wrong with this advert that I hardly know where I should begin venting my frustrations. The whole advert just makes my skin crawl.

But the biggest travesties are as follows:-

• The choice of song.

I love The Smiths. I love Morrissey. I love Johnny Marr. And I love "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want" almost as much as I love oxygen. It is such a beautiful song and it was the soundtrack to a particularly dire week earlier this summer that culminated in me sitting on a curb outside of a pub in Elephant & Castle crying in biblical rain. Because of that week, "Please, Please, Please" has become my go-to song for whenever I'm stuck in one of my epic "I hate my life" episodes. It is full of such sadness and desperation, much like the rest of The Smiths' back catalogue. It is NOT a song that is fitting for Christmas. And no one should dare attempt a cover version of such a bittersweet song, especially not the dreary mare who sings it in the advert.

• The entire concept

No child in the history of the planet has ever been more excited about giving presents rather receiving them - fact. No child wakes up on Christmas Day and ignores the piles of presents that eagerly await to be savagely unwrapped in favour of giving their parents a shoddily wrapped box that may or may not contain the head of Gordon Brown (where has he disappeared to?!). It doesn't matter how amazing your parents are, you just don't care about them on Christmas Day when you're under the age of seven unless they're giving you a life size collection of Lego and a bubble machine (because we all know kids go batshit crazy for Lego and bubbles). So the entire concept of the advert instantly becomes void as soon as people realise that they actually know a miniature adult and are fully aware of their reasoning.

• The snow

Yes, I'm aware that it's started snowing here in England in recent years. But it's not the pretty white Hollywood style snow that we get. It's not the pretty white, steadily flowing snow that's evident in this advert. In England (and especially London) we get slush. And when it is snow, it's never white for long. A culmination of pollution, rain, and trampy shoes give us a dirty, manky grey coloured snow that stops transport, closes schools, and gives adults the opportunity to skive off of work and make lopsided snowmen. Oh, and it never snows on Christmas Day. I know it's an insignificant part of the advert but my God it drives me crazy.

• The previous years

John Lewis had a challenge on its' hands. Previous Christmas campaigns were amazing (such as the one featuring the Fyfe Dangerfield cover of "Always a Woman") and have become a staple in the Christmas programming schedule. The internet was buzzing with talk of this years' advert long before it aired with people desperate to find out how John Lewis would top the previous ones. We all waited with baited breath and exhaled with a massive sigh of disappointment. The fact is, as soon as John Lewis realised they wouldn't be able to top previous campaigns, they should have given up. Just put out a normal advert that highlighted what was available in their pretty shops. At least one highlight is that next year's advert can't be worse than this one.

Please, John Lewis, don't make it worse.